this is a whispery post. I am too tired to do much, so I won’t be catching up today. We were out running errands and stopped for some Wawa shorties for lunch. As we were eating them in parking lot of the Home Depot, Lawrence told me he’s been thinking about it, and he thinks I am going to be a very good mother.
It snowed a few inches overnight. I came downstairs this morning, fully prepared to do the obligatory brushing off of the car, only to find that a certain car fairy (aka my downstairs neighbor) had done it for me.
So last night, Jonny and I were sitting on the couch…I was knitting, as usual, and miss Jessa was just kind of shmying around, a little restless and unfocused. We couldn’t tell what her deal was, if she wanted to play, if she didn’t feel well, if she needed to go out. She wouldn’t sit still.
Finally, she sat down on the floor just below me and stared with her big eyes. She put her front paws up on the couch. So I moved my knitting off my lap, and turns out, that was all I needed to do. Jess climbed right on my legs, sat down and waited for cuddles to begin. It was the most precious thing ever. She ended up sleeping there the rest of the evening.
Those who follow my blog will know who this post is about, as I can’t be up front with it (trying not to say anything that can be used against us…). But I have to write. Because a bad situation has gotten worse. I feel awful and beaten down and trapped.
I’m upset, not just because Jonny and I are dealing with what we’re dealing with, but because we are good people. We are kind people. We are considerate people. We don’t deserve this, and we didn’t deserve to be treated the way we were treated tonight. There’s no getting through. There’s no reasoning. There’s no compromising or making it better. And I’m just baffled by someone else’s ability to be so…..unaware. We’ve both tried so hard to take the high road. We’ve also tried to be firm. Nothing has worked. WE are the enemy.
Do you get that? I am the enemy. I don’t get that. I really don’t.