I had an ultra sound for my gall bladder yesterday. And while they found no gallstones (yay), there’s something up with my liver…which I’ve known for years is apparently abnormally shaped. While this was once deemed congenital, I’ve now been made aware that it could be a benign tumor which is a rare result of long-term oral contraceptive use.
So basically, I don’t know what’s what. I now have to have an MRI to determine what this shiz is. All I know is…I am uncomfortable and in some pain and I don’t know why. I’ve felt crappy on and off for months now. I thought it was gall bladder related, which isn’t yet ruled out. It could be related to other long-standing tummy issues. Or it could be this entirely new liver issue. Any which way you look at it, I’m frustrated.
And I thank the doctors and people who are helping me. It’s like a big puzzle and each time I go through one of these bouts and have tests done, there’s a new piece that is found. And everyone and even the good reason in my head is telling me there’s nothing to be worried about, and I’m sure there isn’t. But. Well. I’m sure you all know how that goes. Crazy minds breed crazy thoughts. And they just circle around and around and around.
Why am I being so open about this? you may ask…I have no idea, honestly. Probably because I’m just in a mood and writing about it helps me feel better. I may delete this later. But this blog is my life and this is what’s going on in my life and it’s coloring EVERYTHING today. I’m pissed at myself. I’m pissed at my job. I’m pissed at these entitled little fucker students who don’t like to follow rules that are put in place for a reason. I’m pissed at whoever in Yemen is sending suspicious packages to temples in Chicago. I’m pissed at fucking birth control pills. I’m pissed that I’ve been dealing with various stomach issues for the better part of a decade (and my whole life, really) and I still can’t figure out what’s really wrong! I feel like a weakling. I feel like a hypochondriac. I feel like an idiot. I feel awful.
So…yeah. My misshapen liver and I are going to do some work now. Maybe it’ll help take my mind off my extraordinary and self-righteous anger.
One guy did get a card! Or is that already known by everyone and I’m out of the loop? Because his reaction was hilarious and I’m disappointed that the only other person to join the slow clap was someone I didn’t know (and never managed to get close enough to be able to hear an introduction).
Who got the card? What did he say/do to warrant it? And what, pray tell, was his reaction!!??
OH and then there was this guy that was sitting on the other side of this wall at the bar and in an effort to make fun of the fact that we were all from the internet, he kept going ZING HUHUHUHUHUHU* ZING HUHUHUHUHU ZING HUHUHUHUHU and I was like… what year is it where people still think it’s weird to meet people from the internet? ARE YOU FROM THE PAST?
I still don’t get what Zing means…I’ll look it up.
Anyway, I still think we should have given him one of Faith’s cards.
For my 4000th post, some notables, observations and questions
- While walking Jessa this morning, I saw a man walking down the street, carrying a pair of tighty-whiteys. Just, you know, carrying them. In plain sight. Morning-after? Walk of shame? Did he have an accident? I don’t know…I mean, I would have balled those things up and stuffed them in my pocket or something. It was odd. And kind of gross.
- My dog is really freaking adorable.
- Why must road construction happen everywhere at the same time? My once half-hour commute has now turned into an hour. bitch bitch bitch.
- It’s 11:15am, and, per my usual, I’m starving. Thus I will eat lunch.
- Lunch consists of butternut squash soup, rice pilaf and hard salami.
- I made the soup myself.
- I am a domestic goddess.
- Jonny put the salami back in the refrigerator with only two slices left. So I can’t really count salami as part of my lunch, since there was so little of it. I’m a bit bummed, I have to say.
I just finished a project that I will not give to its intended recipient. This is the first project that I’ve finished and been like, absolutely not. Not good enough. Nope. But it isn’t. It’s really messy and not good. I’m disappointed, but I guess it happens, no?
Just kind of annoying because the child’s mother is one of my best friends, and I so wanted to make something special as opposed to just buying something. At this rate, I’m going to need to get him a big ass present, as he was born in freaking February. So it’s a birth plus one year present. Oy. Nothing like being late and not giving the present at all.
So I’m super-sensitive to smells, and this office today…this windowless, concrete closet…it STINKS.
What does it smell like, you ask? Well, maple syrup and hard boiled egg. I’m not even joking. I don’t know what the fo the house manager was eating/doing this morning, but it’s lingering and it’s seriously gag-worthy.
This is a sweater I made for my friends Erin and Andrew’s baby girl. She’ll be born around Christmas time…she’ll need a little tiny sweater to get her through her very first Chicago winter (poor baby!). So here it is:
So, I haven’t been watching Top Chef: Just Desserts because, well, I wasn’t that into it. But tonight, I realized that one of the judges looked really familiar. I thought it was someone and was like, nooooo….that would be weird! But then, good old IMDB confirmed it.
Danielle Kyrillos is the one who wrote this article (click!) about my CD. Responsible for almost 200 sales of my album in a day. That was a coup. A major coup.
Daily Candy’s done well for dear Danielle! I’m gonna start watching!
So the reason behind my curiosity of fasts/cleanses is as follows:
I’ve been just…off…for a while now. Stomach off, skin off, general fatigue and ickiness off. I’m quite sure I have gall bladder issues, as it’s hereditary and both my mom and maternal grandmother had them (mom had her gall bladder removed last year). And I’ve been reading a lot about remedies for that and cleanses and all that stuff. So I figured maybe it might be good to try. Maybe my body really does need to reset itself! It seems like the ailments the articles/ads/what have you list as curable through fasting are all things that are affecting me (bloating, discomfort, depression, skin issues—which are not being helped by my already vigorous dermatological regimen). So…yeah. That’s the logic. I just want to feel good. It’s not to lose weight or anything. It’s because I do believe I have a build up of gah-bage in my body. And I feel like shit more often than not. It can only be attributed to diet and exercise to a point, because even when I’m eating well and exercising regularly, I still feel like poo.
Other than my first impressions thing, I’ve never posted about Mad Men? I just want to say one thing, I have this feeling that Megan the Secretary is far more calculating and aware than people are giving her credit for. I think her character is going to prove to have more depth, she seemed so dumb, so very dumb in the beginning, but everything she has done is super calculated, including the Fraulein Maria look, the timed singing in a foreign language, stopping by in her going out -dress, the pool scene. The only thing uncalculated was her calm reaction to the spilled milkshake. That scene was pretty important because of the stark contrast to Betty’s parenting style, and quite frankly, one I can relate to, in my current real life situation.* I mean, Don’s an idiot for a number of reasons, but still.
PS. We knew Joanie wasn’t going to have that abortion.
Oh…I totally agree with the Megan assessment! Her coming on to him in his office was a measure of calculation, and definitely not her first. It’d be interesting to go back to the beginning of the season and see if one can find the spark of a plan in her head. I bet it’s there somewhere. She’s definitely a smart cookie, that one.
But not so smart, I don’t think, that she won’t fall prey to the Don Draper disaster virus that takes down all ladies in its wake. And I also think that, like most women who start out catering to the man’s ego instead of being real with him, that chill exterior will fall away into something more demanding and even more shrewd. Perhaps, even, more like Betty. Keep in mind that we have no idea what Betty was like when she first married Don. Somethin’ to think about…
Oh my god oh my god oh my god Faye and what the hell and I cannot believe this bullshit and Don I’m so fucking pissed at you and your stupid dick leading you around and how you keep making the same mistake over and over again and how you need to be with someone who makes you feel like “the man you always wanted to be” instead of the one who really fucking knows you and WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK!!! And Faye! FAYE! She’s so awesome and I felt her heartbreak and whoa I’m really taking this seriously and I cannot believe they went there and this should be interesting next season and fuck I have to wait ‘til the next season and I need to get a life right? Yeah I know.
One the one hand, you live in a college town. On the other, you don’t expect to see (or your 8 year old to see) people having sex on your lawn.
The thing that’s so frustrating, is that these kids won’t get the message. Because if they did, they probably would have known better and had enough respect to not to engage in this obnoxious activity in the first place. The mere fact that they did behave this way shows that they’re not going to be affected by this email. At most, they’ll roll their eyes and say how dumb and annoying their neighbors are.
And the comments? The comments are funny, calling the writer of the email crusty and old. I can tell you (and I’m revealing a little bit about my life here), I know for a fact he is NOT. If anything, he was kind of saying, hey, I get it…you’re in college. You want to party. Just have some effing respect, kids! Come on! Common sense!
Anyway…the entitlement continues here. I’m either just old and crusty myself, or these kids are really getting worse.