I like that they sell everything separately (I think Ikea does, too, though) so you can mix and match according to your needs. It gets overwhelming when you want every type of glass but don’t have room or need for four of everything. That’s also why I don’t get mad when they get broken. I can just go back there and round out the set for a couple of bucks.
Whatever we don’t find at Target, Macy’s or Ikea or pick up while thrifting in Maryland, I’ve agreed to help her shop for while she’s visiting me and then take the bus back with her and hang out so she doesn’t have to ship it to herself. Because that would be pointless if the idea isn’t just to find cool stuff but to save money.
OMG Fish’s Eddy!!!!! I used to have glasses from there. My favorite one was brushed glass with a seagull on one side and a circular liferaft on the other…the center of the lifesaver was unbrushed, so you could see through to the seagull on the other side. It was so cute! I was really sad when it broke.
According to Katharine Hepburn’s official biographer A. Scott Berg, Meryl Streep was her least favorite modern actress on screen: “Click, click, click,” she said, referring to the wheels turning inside Streep’s head.
I’ve hesitated to post updates on my tum stuff. It’s been suggested (by my mom—”you kids today!”—even though…32? Not a kid.) that perhaps I share too much. Maybe? I don’t know. I don’t really care…I mean…this is kind of the point of this, right? So here it is.
Bottom line, the conclusive testing I was hoping for wasn’t so conclusive. But I still feel sick. The doctor, whom I will no longer refer to as “my” doctor, essentially said it was in my head and there was nothing more he could do for me.
Well okay, then why do I still feel sick? He said it’s because I’m a “worrier”.
Let’s trace it back a bit. I wasn’t worried when I first went to see him…I just knew I was feeling new gastro symptoms that seemed to match exactly those that my mother, who had her gall bladder removed a year prior, had felt. There wasn’t any stress behind it. It was hey, I feel crappy, I think I should check this out. Then I get told there’s something going on with my liver. Even if a doctor says a million times, “it’s probably nothing,” I don’t know anyone in his or her right mind who wouldn’t then worry. It’s just inevitable. And yes, worry made me feel more stress, which led me to feel more pain, which led me to worry more, which led me to feel more pain and ask more questions. And the cycle was vicious indeed.
So, thank you, doctor, for giving me a swift kick in the ass back towards reality. Because, after feeling humiliated…like everyone thought I was crazy and perhaps I was…I calmed myself and brought everything back down a level or two. I decided to take a couple of weeks to destress and really pay attention to my body. When do I feel pain? How much of it is stress-related? How much of it is food-related? What do I feel when I go to sleep and wake up? And so on and so forth…
And in the few days since I decided this, I’ve successfully gotten rid of most of the stress-related pain and gotten back to where I started with all of it…the new symptoms that match almost exactly those that my mother had. So I’m feeling a bit vindicated now, as I know it’s not in my head. I feel it. Stressed and not stressed. It’s there. I don’t necessarily know where to go from here, as I’m not exactly running towards the operating room…but at least I know where I stand and can talk to other doctors and figure out what to do.
I have a thought to say something to Dr. It’sInYourHead. I mean, dude only saw me twice. To me, that seems a bit too soon to start writing things off as non-problems. But nothing screams crazy more than a person screaming I’m NOT crazy! So…oh well. Moving on.
Also….a classic Hollywood whodunit? Jeez, people, I know you’re all from LA and it’s la la land and whatever, but…it’s not a freaking movie. Tim Curry’s not going to pop out and say how everyone was framed. It’s a real murder.
To make matters slightly more annoying, I have everyone and their dog trying to diagnose me. I don’t know if it’s just a Jewish thing, but I do know it’s a Jewish thing…man are we aggressive with wanting to figure shit out. I have my mom, my dad, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, my sister, my uncle, and my mother’s various doctors and school nurse all weighing in on what it is, what I should do, who I should contact and when. My mom’s like, do you want me to come in [to Chicago]? And I’m all, Mom, I’m a 32 year old woman and I can do it on my own. And I am doing everything I can do.
STOP CALLING, STOP CALLING! I DON’T WANT TO THINK ANYMORE!!
I remember the first time I saw Primal Fear, that scene where Norton’s other personality comes out in the questioning room with Richard Gere’s character…I was shocked and amazed at how different Norton’s body looked. Like all of a sudden he was bigger and domineering and postured to make people afraid of him. Which, obviously, was the point of the shift in character from the meek little church-boy to the scary killer. It was a very successful moment in acting, one I love to this day.
Related to Primal Fear but not to Ed Norton: I also remember thinking that Laura Linney’s hair, and her character’s lines, for that matter, were AWFUL. Seeing it more recently, her lines aren’t that bad. But that hair…still awful.
Related to Ed Norton but not to Primal Fear: One of my psych professors in college went to school with Norton. Said he was an asshole. So. Yeah. Just, you know, saying.
Actually, I have not been watching because they just seem intolerable. So I’ll say this:
I remember watching the E! True Hollywood Story on the Hilton sisters (SHUTUP!) and I remember thinking, this aunt of theirs kind of sucks balls! Why is she on this cheesy television show divulging all this information about her nieces! You know? I felt like she thought it was her cool ticket. Like, my nieces are Paris and Nicky Hilton! Meanwhile they don’t hang out with her or like her or anything.
I could be wrong, but it always struck me as annoying.
I don’t know Camille…is she Kelsey Grammar’s wife? All I can picture is two crazy huge lips and a nasty mane of fake blonde-ness.
So a battle for horribleness between these two? I don’t know…I’ll let Teresa Guidice decide.
I’ve felt sick upon waking for the past few days. My tum is just not happy. It’s making me especially irritable. I’m frustrated. Feel like crying right now, but also feel like, mother fucker I don’t want to cry anymore!
This final gall bladder test is next Tuesday and, honestly, I’m hoping it’ll come back conclusive for non- or ill-functioning, because at least that’ll give me an answer. It’ll give me a solution. If it doesn’t…then where the fuck do I go?
I just feel sick and I’m tired of it.
On an up note: The dealership towed our car and discovered that they got the spark plugs wet while they were working on it, and that’s why it wouldn’t start. So, if they honor what they said they would do, it’s on them because it’s their fuckup. Phew!