I’m overwhelmed. My brain is on overload a bit. When this happens, I tend to just shut down and not do anything as opposed to going forward and wading through anxiety. I’m not saying this is a good way to be. It’s not. At all. But it’s the way I am.
And then there’s me and T who were thrown together as band-girlfriends…her as Jonny’s band’s guitarist and main songwriter’s gf, me….as Jonny’s….obviously.
Anyway. The story goes like this. We’d heard a lot about each other. Emailed in anticipation of meeting during my next visit to Jonny. Met backstage at a show. Met the other band girlfriend at the time, as well. All was lovely.
And then a 19 year old groupie came in and was all “Look at me! Look at me!” yelling and acting drunk and stupid. She was all over the boys. It was annoying. I bristled and looked over at T, snarled and said “who is this bitch?” T, having long dealt with girls like these, looked at me with relief and said “I love you!”
So, has anyone noticed that, past a certain point in your twenties, it’s kind of difficult to make new friends. Just cuz the etiquette of it all gets weird.
My friend Alexis (Ablarxis, as I so lovingly call her these days) and I worked together at my last job. I remember, a couple weeks into the job, coming home to Jonny and saying, I really like Alexis. She’s cool. How do I become friends with her? It was then that I realized, I don’t know how to make a new friend. Like, initiate a friendship outside of an obligatory space (i.e. work). It felt awkward. Initiating a friendship seemed like the new form of asking someone out on a date. So this weird little courtship, if you will, began and went on for a while, where we’d eat lunch with the rest of our crew of work friends…go outside for cigarette breaks…I’d offer her a ride to the el on my way home from work, etc. I think it was after I invited her to one of my shows and she actually came that I realized, okay, we’ve made a breakthrough! and she liked my show! She was so impressed! And that made me feel so cool and happy. Alexis liked me! She really liked me!
And thus ended the awkwardness and began the real friendship, which continues and gets stronger daily (blows kiss at Ablarxis…hey gurl, hey!). We’ve talked about and laughed at the fact that we were like, wait, how can we make this friendship happen? A friendship that happens with such ease and has survived new jobs and the absence of daily presence in each other’s lives.
It was a funny learning experience, the understanding that you can make friends with people not just based on proximity (school, work, whatever), but on actually liking them. It sounds so obvious, but think about some friendships in your lives! Would you be friends with them without the history/daily proximity/kids being friends/etc.?
I brought this point up to Jonny a while ago, when I first really took serious interest in Gaga. When that moment for me occurred and I caught on, I instantly felt like Madonna was completely irrelevant (in current times, not her legacy, obvi).
I mean, yes, Madonna has been slowly losing her grip for years now, but she still had a small grasp left. Much as the media tried to pin many other pop stars as “the next Madonna” (*vomit* Britney), it never really quite fit. And Madge would always come back and show people exactly how much it didn’t fit.
But this…well, there’s no topping this. Madge should gracefully turn over her throne and act as the retired queen bee. Keep making music, if she wants, but don’t try to outdo what cannot be outdone, even by her.
here it is. she insists that your guests won’t be able to tell the difference between full-on guac the way that the aztecs intended and this bastardization that she recommends. this reminds me of the time that rachel ray tried to convince her studio audience that her squash lasagna was yumm-o. but i could see right through it, man. it looked like ripe baby poo on pasta. no thanks.
but seriously. the world has already messed around with things like low-fat ice cream and dehydrated anorexic butter-free cookies. at the end of the day, you don’t fuck with guacamole. you can go to hell for that shit.
Why mess with perfection?
I agree that using peas in guac is just…yeah, not so good…but that’s not why I’m reblogging. I’m reblogging because of the very first comment underneath the video. Which said:
id drag my hairy sweaty balls through a mile of broken glass to get a glimps of her piss flaps
Am I an idiot? I was under the impression people came here to be freed from religious persecution?! WTF does god have to do with anything? Am I supposed to pray when I get sick and hope for the best because I can't get health insurance because I can't afford it? the fuck?
It’s ridiculous, sad and nauseating. I purposely wasn’t paying too much attention to anything other than the fact that the bill was passed, but I heard on the radio that not ONE Republican voted for it. Not one. FUCK OFF, you dipshits. This is the most blatant display of racism and classism (if that’s a word…y’all know what I’m trying to say) in my lifetime. I bet you a million dollars if our president wasn’t (gasp!) black that there wouldn’t be half as much dissension from these fuckers. Religion has nothing to do with it and never did. The problem they have, that they’ll never say, is that they don’t want to pay for some poor, possibly black person’s insurance. And they’re hiding behind “God”. Shameful.
And fine, then, if you want to bring God into it…is this really what God would want? Really? Doesn’t God tell us to help those in need? That we’re all God’s children? That we’re all deserving of love and happiness? Isn’t health crucial to that happiness? I mean, really…this hatred they’re spewing? How God-like is that? They don’t even see their hypocrisy.
“I’m really concerned about the future of our country today. How is it that a bill could be passed that is so completely against what our country was based on. The freedoms that our forefathers tried to permanently endorse are being silently stripped away. My primary thought today is this; our country has been so extremely blessed for being based on God, what will happen when God is completely removed and morals forgotten??”
Wait… WHAT?!!? *eyes crossed*
It’s commentary like this that makes me want to fucking move. Far away. And let these fucking idiots have “their” country back.
So I watched those bitches in NYC on DVR last night, and here’s my take on this week’s sad little episode:
LuAnne and her broken-down daughter. Ugh. Can you imagine that woman as your mother? My mother has her issues for sure, everyone’s does, but I mean…I would jump off a roof and break both my wrists, too, if I had LuAnne for a mom. Trust.
Even worse than having LuAnne as a mom? Having Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Now, I feel slightly bad about commenting on someone’s parenting skills (Ahem, Alex…more on that later), but that restaurant scene between her and her two daughters was just…painful! It had the closeness of a second-time babysitter trying to make conversation. Her reaction to Teddy was ridiculous—yes, your daughter’s a little hammy and weird, but a) you probably were too and b) she’s in fourth grade! Stop looking at her like she has five heads for acting silly about something which she does not even have the beginnings of comprehension. No, your kids are not going to be proud of you for posing nude! Maybe they will some day. But not right then. Let them have that without making them feel weird, ferchrissake!
I think I’m jumping around…oh well, deal with it. I’m doing what I remember…
Bethenny’s boyf’s bday party. Oh, Bethenny. How one woman can reek so potently of both confidence and insecurity is so interesting. I give her credit for being herself. But herself is sometimes a little painful to watch. And I think she knows it. And I think she’s scared that other people know it too (hence the immediate “my dress is like sausage-casing” disclaimer…kind of like pointing out to everyone that you have a zit before they can notice that you’re wholly uncomfortable about it). I still can’t get a read on her boyf. I don’t know what to think about him. I thought last week that he seemed a little gay but didn’t want to stereotype/typecast, and then I read Richard Lawson’s review and apparently that is the word on the street; that he’s gay and a big fat PR whore. Except he’s not big and fat. He’s very very fit. But he seems to love Bethenny on camera. So who knows?
Jill is a petty petty petty little bitch. Remember how I said in my first recap (did I skip last week?) how she’ll hold on to that “get a hobby” comment for dear life? Was I right? Well, the answer was obvious, but I meant it in a…she refuses to hear anything else on that message…kind of way. And now we have all heard the message. And I get what Bethenny was trying to say. Was it rude? Yes. Was it meant the way Jill is taking it? No. Is Jill taking it way too far? Absolutely. I’m looking forward to the confrontation she will have with Alex as seen on the season previews where Alex says “you’re in high school!”. Because she really really is. Not two seconds after people leave her side, she’s bitching about them. And this attachment to LuAnne? So very Regina George and Gretchen Weiners. LuAnne is Jill’s unconditional bolsterer. Jill is holding on to that so tightly, her knuckles are white.
Alex remains the most normal. Even Simon is less bothersome. And while I do think her kids are weird and obnoxious, I agree with her assessment of Jill’s comment and how people really shouldn’t tsk tsk about other people’s parenting styles (unless the kids are outright ridiculous/on drugs/in trouble) (or unless the other person is Lynne from the O.C.). And I also agree with her assessment of Jill’s behavior in general. All in all, I think Alex is handling herself diplomatically…though I’m sure that’ll go out the window eventually. It can’t not.
I don’t really have anything to say about Ramona. She bugs me. And the stupid shit with Mario is dumb. I don’t care.
What else? Though Kelly Killoren Bensimon is super annoying and weird, I will say that she really looked beautiful at the Playboy shoot. And her apartment is sick. Even the weird plastic horse. But hadn’t Jill been to her apartment before last season? When her friend was selling purses and Jill bought the $16,000 one or something? Does anyone else remember that?
That’s in on the bullet points. Because we’ve gotten to the main event: the Jill/Bethenny meet up. I’ll tell you, watching that made me sad. Seriously sad. Not because I care so much about them. But because it invoked such a memory in me of going to battle with a toxic friend like that. Trying to explain yourself and your motivation and having someone put a major wall up to you. The nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach. The shaking. I’ve had a couple of toxic friends like that in my life…where everything I did was wrong and no matter how many times I tried to explain myself, it just wouldn’t help. Some people truly like to pick fights. And some people never see anyone else’s perspective other than their own. And it is such a sucky feeling to be on the receiving end of it and have the person act like you’re the irrational one. Because then you just get frustrated and it feeds on itself and escalates and before you know it you’re screaming at anyone who will listen and making a fool of yourself at a sorority function!
I’ve taken this too personally.
In any event. I think you can all see whose side I’m on here. I’m sure there were things that Bethenny did that were hurtful to Jill, but I gotta say. I believe B. I do NOT believe Jill. I think she’s mean as all get out…and she likes it that way.
This all said…I am only kind of excited for next week. I’m not looking forward to round two of the “I Hate Bethenny” brigade. And also? LuAnne gets to get advice from Gloria??? NOT okay. What is Gloria going to adopt all the housewives? NOT okay. No, Gloria. No.
But again…this is just a stupid reality show. Must remember this.