In the Saddle

So much to say about last night’s episode. I haven’t yet read Sir Lawson’s recap…as I wait to read his until after I write mine, but I sure am looking forward to what he has to say about it! (Also, I like when we agree on things. He doesn’t know we agree, but I do, and it makes me happy)

Anyway…

Okay, so again…if I skip around, it’s because I’m an idiot and should really take notes while I’m watching, but that would push me over the edge into sad territory, so you understand.

Actually, I just pulled up the episode on Bravo’s website, so I’m gonna just scan through and then I’ll remember what I wanted to say about everything I wanted to say something about. Make sense? Have I teetered again on the edge of sad territory? Oh well.

Soooo:

• Perez Hilton is a DICKWAD! I think we all know this. But honestly Bethenny? How does he know? We didn’t tell anyone! Yeah, no one except your assistant and several producers and execs at Bravo, hence them FILMING THIS WHOLE THING! Come on, now. You have every reason to be upset, but don’t play the surprised card. What you should be is pissed at whoever in the Bravo family squealed. Or you should admit that somehow Perez found out through someone in your camp…maybe even you. I like you and I choose not to believe that second part of what I said, but you know what I’m getting at. Well, no, you don’t…because I’m not having this conversation with you, but with my little crew of readers. Reality check, Alison.
  
• That all said, I do feel bad for B and J, as it is a Jewish (and sometimes not Jewish) thing to wait until 12 weeks to spill the beans. And Jason’s reaction was understandable and I felt upset for him. Though I will say, he did know what he signed up for and, again, the surprise factor of it? Well…Perez certainly popped J’s naivete cherry about that whole thing. They’re in your lives. They like it. The woman you’re marrying likes it, otherwise she wouldn’t be there. Let’s not kid. Pun kind of intended.
• So…LuAnn going to Sonja’s house? Sonja’s all alone so she went out and got coffee? Um, Sonja? You could just say that you went out and got coffee. You didn’t have to qualify it with, “Because I’m all alone today”. Oh, the poor rich divorcee is all alone and therefore all manual labor must cease because God forbid she know how to use her probably $400 coffeemaker. I don’t care that she went out to get it…just that she had to emphasize how completely helpless she is without her “people”. Get over it, woman.
• Jill MUST be doing some of this bitchiness for the camera. I mean, it’s really over the top. She wasn’t this bad on previous seasons, was she? The Evite comment? I mean…that was ridiculous and rude!! Also, I love how now that she’s realized she wants her friendship with B back, that she’s getting all snippy and rude to LuAnn. It’s beginning, my friends. The cast-off is starting, wherein the stand-in friend (LuAnn) suddenly gets left in the dust by the user (Jill) as she tries to mend her friendship with someone she actually likes. It’s so obvious and ridiculous! That said, it was awesome seeing Lu and Sonja chattering away and Jill just standing there with that stinkface on. Hilarious.
• I find it so funny that no matter what the topic, LuAnn makes it about her. “She blocked me from Twitter…but do I care?” Um, yes, LuAnn. Yes, I think you do! “Now I know why she jumped down my throat! She’s hormonal!” No, LuAnn…she jumped down your throat because you SUCK! Uuuugh, she’s so stupid, I don’t even want to waste time talking about her. Buh-bye!
• Sooooo…I don’t like this Sonja character. I think she’s an idiot. And I love how she brought Ramona to the dr. because she knows Ramona would do the research, but then she totally disregarded the valid questions R brought up. And her “everything in moderation” mantra? I don’t really know that that applies to plastic surgery. That’s surgery. It’s never minor. Or moderate. And doing extra planks, as Ramona suggested? That’s not extreme. You’re just lazy. 
• I liked B’s conversation with Alex about the pregnancy. Alex seemed genuine and sweet about it. But then…then the “order” was given. But not really, because I don’t really think it was an order. It seemed more like B was saying, hey, if it comes up and she starts talking to you about it, maybe you could mention it, blah blah blah. I don’t know that that meant that Alex should walk in there, guns blazing and pointed at Jill…but more on that later. I do love how whenever Bethenny talks about Jill, she assumes the Jill voice. It’s amazing and so apt.
• The rest of Jill’s stupid shit was boring…blah blah blah, she talks too much.
• Sonja’s psychic lady? Honestly? I can’t even. I really just can’t. All I’m gonna say is…you go girl. Rake that rich bitch for all you can. Do it. Go ahead and give her the most obvious advice ever. I got you. I totally got you. You have my blessing.
• Oh! The Bloomingdale’s thing of LuAnn’s where Jill was being ridiculous? and Ramona’s party where she’s being so mean?? Seriously…she MUST be doing it for the cameras! Or…maybe she’s the one on the Adderol? Is she going through “the change”? I mean…it’s insane!
• I don’t really care about Ramona and her dumb skin care line. But do you see my point from last time about the branding? True Renewal? And she’s talking about renew renew renewing herself!? It doesn’t take a marketing genius to get what she’s doing. Speaking of marketing…I cannot count how many times I’ve been that girl filling the gift bags for an event. R’s intern was doing it right…lining them up against the wall and dropping each thing in? Someone took PR101!

Okay…so the main event: the hit on B’s/Jill’s/Alex’s friendships. Well, first of all, what the hell is Simon wearing at that event? Okay…Alex really took this a little too seriously and I have to say, I am on Jill’s side with this. It was pretty humiliating to do that in front of everyone in such a dramatic fashion. It was actually really difficult to watch—like NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! It was awful! I liked B’s description that Alex borrowed some of Bethenny’s balls and said things that she actually wanted to say for herself. That makes sense. I wonder, though, if B was angry watching the footage last night and seeing how it all went down. Because it really was a petty way to do it. And I don’t think B meant for that to be the way it happened. It was all weird and strange and…just…not right. So, yeah, that was the main event.

I particularly liked Jill’s I’ll never forgive her for this…I might forget, but I’ll never forgive her. Right. So you’ll see her years down the line and be like, I’m holding a grudge! I don’t know what it’s for…but I’m holding on to it for dear life!

Yup, sounds about right!

My ReHo recap is looooong again. Sorry in advance! Heeeeeee!

minou:

I want first to say that I have nothing but love for Inthesaddle, ok? And, as jhnbrssndn would say, it wouldn’t do for us all to be alike, would it?

This list is horseshit. Just, OMG, please. Like of course, maintaining my weight is an excellent way to cope with stress! So is meeting my own needs! And getting enough sleep! Ouch, my eye!

Hahaha…the minute I saw that you reblogged it I knew this was going to be your response. I don’t like all of it. Some are good reminders though. It’s all obvious, of course, but sometimes we forget the obvious.

Nothin’ but love for you too, gurl.

I am a “need to know” type person. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like anticipation. I like to know what’s going on…or else be completely oblivious to the situation (don’t ever say to me…”omg I have the best present for your birthday five months from now…you’ll just have to wait!”…yeah, no!).

Thus, I’ve always been a thinker about future plans. I’m not a planner, really, but I enjoy knowing what is to come and normally I get anxious when I can’t see ahead of me. But now…now is just unknown. There are vague plans. There are little bursts of light in the distance. But nothing is clear. It’s all hazy.

Sometimes this freaks the hell out of me. Today, though, it exhilarates me. I feel a butterfly in my belly thinking about all the things that could happen or even that will happen. It’s exciting and scary and confusing and oh so huge. Life is oh so huge sometimes.

It’s all happening. Whatever it is.

The ReHo liveblogging will not happen. Had to clean up dinner, which was a total bust (more on that later…maybe…) But I will be commenting eventually. Oh yes, I will.

The cynic in me was screaming - that Amber Alert thing is fake! It’s fake! Don’t reblog it! You’re just falling into the “let’s see how many people we can get to reblog this!” trap!

I should have let her win. She’s usually right.

I’m kind of over Glee.

That’s a good movie.

I love Cameron Crowe.

I also love Kyra Sedgwick’s hair in that movie. And in general. Good curls, good color.

Whatever. That’s all.

I guess it’s pretty serious.

Dear future babies,

As I was driving home last night, I went past Subterranean and Double Door and thought, my name has been up on that marquis. So has your father’s (many more times than mine). It’s likely that you’ll be born in Chicago and thus one day know of these places, if they’re still around. And it’s likely that you’ll look at them, then look at us, your parents, and think really? YOU played there? I assure you, it happened.

 At the turn of the millennium, your mother braved the mean streets of New York, by way of the West Village (oh so mean, really…) with a cassette tape (mm-hmm) in hand of some scrappy recordings of some silly songs she’d written, and got herself some shows at old-school joints like The Bitter End and CB’s Gallery and such. She performed quite a lot back then, recorded two albums, and even got a little press for the second. There were many highs and lows, many hopes and many let downs. And there were choices made, for the better and for the worse.

Your father started a couple years later and made it much farther than your mom ever did. He and his bandmates worked their way up the Chicago scene, eventually selling out venues and getting lots and lots of press. They were recognized in the streets.  They were on the radio. They played Lollapalooza. They toured the country. They toured the U.K. They recorded an album. They lived it. They touched it. They put all they had into it and got a lot in return. It was hard and tiring, but your dad loved it. For him, too, there were many highs and lows, hopes and let downs. And for him, too, there were choices made…for better and for worse.

So when you see your parents as most kids see their parents…hopelessly uncool and so parent-y…just know that once, long ago, we did something really cool. We put our dreams on the line and went for it. We grew up and changed and accepted and decided big things and moved on and instead of being our lives, it’s become part of our lives. And that seems sad, and it is a little. But mostly it’s amazing. We did what we wanted. What we dreamed. And you will see it as you grow up. We will let you see it. We will teach it to you. We will give it to you. And hopefully, you will know the passion we felt for it, and you will feel passion like that for something in your lives as well.

I already love you,
Mama

Internet should be fully functioning at home. You know what that means…

Liveblogging ReHo on Thursday FO SHO!