I’m 33 weeks today. When I tell you that I feel like my belly is bigger than everyone else’s I see who’s around my time, I’m totally serious. It could be because I’m a shortie and there’s no where else for it to go but out, or it could be that this kid is coming earlier than March 19. We’ll see though…
For now, check it out. This is me making dinner tonight.
What’s your plan for introducing the baby to Jessa?
Just kidding…our friends gave us some information they had read about it when they had their little boy, so we’ll go through that and heed the advice. As well, I’m going to check out what Cesar Milan says about it (no, seriously) because he knows his shit.
The things I’ve learned thus far are bringing something that the baby was wearing home from the hospital before we bring the baby home so Jess can smell it and become familiar; practice pushing the stroller around while walking Jessa (we have to do this for sure as Jess is a little scared of big roll-y things); train her to not come into the baby’s room unless invited (this will be hard as it used to be Jessa’s room…oops); and just make sure to give her lots of love and attention so she knows she’s still important (this is not something we learned from anywhere, this is just something we will do because…well, because).
We’ll see, though. I already feel awful because she’s definitely responding to the changes around the house already, like my ever expanding belly (there’s getting to be very little room on my lap for her), the fact that we’re constantly keeping the place spotless for showings (I think she gets sad when we vacuum up her hair off the rug), and just the energy in general. Our girl is a bit anxious and is definitely responding. So hopefully she’ll react well to the baby. I just want her to be happy…it breaks my heart to think that she might freak out about it and be sad.
…the more I realize that unless you know the person you’re judging, you just can’t. You can’t say anything about them as a person, them as part of a culture, them as anything. (Says the girl who judges celebrities and such constantly. I must stop this.)
Seriously though…I’m referring to this Privilege blog uproar people are talking about. There was one post this lady made…Enjoli referenced it…about this woman and her High WASP family going on a vacation and dealing with “Others,” a.k.a. people not of “her” kind. I knew two lines in that this was a post about loud Jews on vacation. As a generally observant person, I understand an outsider’s perspective on how we can sometimes behave and carry ourselves. But as a Jew myself, and thus an insider, I know there’s so much more than a big diamond ring and a NY accent at a pool at the Four Seasons Maui. Just like I know there’s more to this chick than her blog about “deconstructing class” while discussing pretty things of privilege.
Bottom line is…WHO CARES? Who. Cares. All you can be is who you are and if that’s a good person, then you try to instill that in others, if you can. And if you’re a shitty person, then you leave a whole bunch of disappointed people in your wake and probably don’t care about that either. All you can be is who you are. And try to relate to each other on some level. And if you can’t, you can’t and you find new ground on which to stand. And that’s exciting too.
I don’t know, I’m rambling. It’s just….this world is so dumb, you guys. People are so high and mighty. Myself included sometimes. And the more I’m faced with that, the more I realize how dumb and futile judging people is.
So sleep has eluded me most nights pretty much this whole pregnancy. I’ve never been one to get up in the middle of the night to pee or anything like that, and anyone who’s been pregnant (or who has listened to me bitch about it) knows that that ends once you’re carrying a little one who likes to press and punch and sit on your bladder. I also get real sore on either side from laying on them all the time, so I usually rotate from one side, to my back with one or both sides propped up underneath, to the other side. So whatever sleep I am able to get is precious and necessary.
And what helps me do this? My full body Boppy pillow. A sanity-saver for me and the bane of Jonny’s existence these last almost eight months.
This thing can be used as a full length pillow for one side of your body or, as in my case, a little U-shaped thing to put on either side of your torso for simultaneous belly and back support. I love it. I need it. I can’t sleep without it. But it’s kind of fucking up my marriage.
I mean, not really…Jonny and I are totally fine…but nighttime cuddles or even affection have become difficult because this giant pillow is in the way. The most Jonny can really do is put his hand on my shoulder or my belly, and that’s just weird. Plus, it makes our normally fine queen sized bed seem very very small and confines Jonny to a much smaller space on his side. And as kind of a tosser and turner, this makes it hard for him, as he usually migrates over to my side at some point during the night. Sometimes he’ll utilize the Boppy without even realizing it…if I’m laying on the left side of it, then he has access to the right and he snuggles up on it (a replacement for me?), but that ends the minute one of my rotations begins and I promptly kick him off and back over to his side of the bed. Poor guy.
Suffice it to say, this thing is a huge help for a pregnant lady (or probably anyone with back problems), but I know that certain husbands will be very very happy when it gets put away for good.
We’ve been putting it on top of our closet during apartment showings (did I mention we’re on the market??) and one night, when I asked Jonny to get it down for bedtime, he was like, ooooooh noooooo…the Boppy pillow! I don’t know where it went! Huh. I guess you can’t use it. Tooo baaad.
Of course, I was all, heh heh…nice try. Now give me the mother fucking Boppy.
My belly has overridden my ability to sit comfortably at my desk. I can’t get close enough to be comfortable, and I can’t really lean forward……unless my legs are pretty much spread eagle on either side of my chair.
My whole life, since birth, I was a night person. I was born at 1:31am, I rarely slept at night (sorry mom), and throughout my childhood/teenage years, I would either read or watch tv well into the wee morning hours before going to sleep and waking up at whatever hour to do it all again. In and post-college, I rarely went to bed before 2, and almost never before 12 and, other than work days when i had to get up, I would sleep as late as humanly possible…usually into the afternoon. It was just how I functioned. Who didn’t in their 20s!
In my old (ahem) age, as well as in this pregnancy, not only can I NOT do that (can you say asleep on the couch by 10?), but I look very forward to the mornings. First being that you just get so much more done when you wake up early! I never realized that before! (Look ma, I’m a grown up!!) I mean, we have a built in alarm clock in Jessa, so even on weekends, we’re up by 7:30ish, but even when I’m on my own…I’ll wake up fairly early because I just get antsy if I don’t! Like, oh no! The day’s wasted!!
Second because I feel worlds better in the morning, preggo wise. Less full, less stretched, less uncomfortable. Tired, because I likely didn’t get enough sleep with tossing and turning, and very Braxton-Hicks-y because I’m dehydrated, but still so much more comfortable. I have to remind myself of this at night when I’m wishing something would stretch a little more to give way for my massive belly and I’m all teary eyed to Jonny saying, I’m just so uncomfortable!! I must remember that morning is almost an entirely different feeling…still with its own discomforts, but somewhat refreshed and energized. I can deal with it all in the morning. Nighttime, not as much.
So we had a wedding to go to on New Year’s, which I personally think is great. You know what you’re doing, where you’re going, and there’s good food and drinks and fun company! And this couple is particularly fun, so I knew it would be a good time.
Wardrobe was an issue, as I had bought an awesome dress to wear…….back in September. It was maternity, so I figured it’d still be okay by now. And it still fit…it was just…well, this was the dress:
Awesome right? Well, awesome when you’re about as pregnant as the chickie above. I tried it on last weekend for Jonny and my mom and Jonny’s face when he saw it was….well….it basically said it all. Part of it is that I’m really just not a tight dress wearer in general, part of it was that the color was not very concealing, and part of it was that I was just too damned big. So Jonny and my dad’s consensus was it was slightly inapprops, my curves (all of ‘em) were a little too much on display. My mom and I still thought it was cute and maybe wearable. But as I thought about it more, I realized that if I wore it, I’d be that girl…the one who half the wedding guests would be like, yeah! Rock that pregnant body! And the other half would be like, OMG, did you see that pregnant girl’s dress??? And truth be told, I just don’t have the confidence to be that girl. Safe is better. Safe is best.
So, I wore a black little swing dress and some kitten heels (wore regular heels to the ceremony and my back was killing me), painted my nails a lovely shade of mauve, put my hair in a little ponytail and wore some awesome pearl danglies and my mother’s aquamarine statement ring. I was comfortable and felt pretty good.
But I felt even better when another party guest—whose dress and general look I had noticed and admired myself—stopped me randomly to tell me that I was adorable and beautiful and looked exactly the way she hoped she would look pregnant one day. And unless Jonny saw her and paid her beforehand, it was a completely unsolicited comment! I mean…you can’t get much better than that. That and a few other compliments made my wavering self-confidence soar through the roof—maybe I could have pulled off that other dress….hmmm!
Anyway, it was a lovely, warm, celebratory and very fun evening. Best part was Jonny and I had so much fun together…we didn’t really know anybody other than the bride and groom, so other than some random table conversation, we had each other to hang with. It feels good when you realize you have a great person to spend these times, and all others with. And I made it to midnight without falling over! Amazing.
So here’s to 2012…a year of love, hope and new and exciting things. It’s gonna be grand.