Posts tagged "Jessa!"

'Fraidy cat. Except dog.

Jessa doesn’t like large objects that she can’t decipher what they are—construction cones or sign-sandwich boards, Jonny’s drum cases (even some new cymbals he bought and was showing me the other day…she about flipped out!), etc. She gets even more freaked out if these objects move—the vacuum cleaner, the swiffer and definitely strollers and stuff on the street. So we knew we’d have a challenge getting her used to walking with us, the baby and the stroller.

Jonny brought it home last night so we could test it out in our apartment. Jessa was not having it. We tried to tempt her closer with treats and she’d do the little tentative dance in front of the treat for a while, then dodge to grab it and run far away. Any time we moved the stroller, she ran in the opposite direction. We were using calm tones, acting as if it was a totally normal thing, sitting on the floor next to it, trying to make her comfortable. Nothing worked.

This might be a problem. Any tips on how to handle this? Feel free to ask-box me!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Oh my there’s so much going on.

So, first things first, we are finally getting ready to put our condo on the market. It’s been a long time coming and the time is right (despite being almost six months pregnant and the timing of everything being a little wonky cuz of that). Long story short, we have some neighbor issues, as you may know, and they recently got as resolved as they’re gonna get for now. So time is nigh to GTFO. While the waters are calm. While there are no sharks in sight.

Thus, we’ve begun the process of “editing” our place and getting it ready for market—taking down pictures of ourselves (there are a lot, we’re egomaniacs with pretty wedding pictures), clearing clutter from countertops, repainting dinged up walls, etc.

A particular eyesore has always been a small sleeper sofa (say that five times fast) (say five times fast five times fast) that was housed in our den. It was purchased at Ikea by my parents in 1997 as my sister’s couch in her first apartment out of college. It has gone from her place to BOTH my NY places and here to its final Saddle resting home in Chicago. It’s been spilled on, written on by mistake, puked on (just a little bit that I promptly cleaned off…thanks to my BFF Michael), and most recently, used as a sleeping/paw-licking/pillow humping playground for Jessa. This couch was one of her favorite spots in our apartment, as it was in the room with her crate, in the room that Jonny, and thereby Jessa, spent most of his time studying for law school and the bar exam, and the room that, up until recently, Jess had been confined to with a baby gate while we were not at home.

We would need to get rid of this couch anyway despite trying to sell and it being a total disgusto nasty item of furniture that any prospective buyer might see and be like, um, if the COUCH is that dirty, what else didn’t they clean?, because we need to prepare for the room being the baby’s room, given the likely possibility that we will not sell before March. So that has meant preparing poor little Jessa for losing “her” room to this little dudette in my belly. We started with giving her access to her regular sleeping bed in our bedroom, to those two rooms and part of our long hallway, to now having the run of the house. She’s doing pretty well with it…for the most part.

But the idea of showing the place made us need to get rid of this couch sooner. None of the charities we contacted would take a couch so disgusting (seriously) and so we put an ad up on Craig’s List basically begging someone to take it for free. We got one response from a fellow named Clyde. Of course, because I’m pregnant and irrational, and I’ve also watched WAY too many Lifetime movies, I suddenly got freaked out that this person was gonna beat us up and rob us and it would be a whole thing. Jonny’s response to that was “do you really think there are people who troll Craig’s List looking for people who need to give away furniture so that they can rob them? They’re already getting a FREE COUCH!” And I’m all, “DIDN’T YOU SEE THE CRAIGS LIST KILLER ON LMN????? HELLOOOOOOO???”

Needless to say, my fears were unfounded, and Clyde showed up last night with a truck, ready to take nasto off our hands. Our friend Billy came over to protect us help, they carried it down the stairs to Clyde’s truck, then the three of us ate Chinese food and all was well.

All except Jessa, who wandered down the hall into her room, looked around sadly and then looked up at me, like WTF?

So I gave her a big chewy treat. Cuz that’s how I will deal with making her feel better.

Them’s the punches, pup. Roll with ‘em.

Dog complexes and crazy parents…

So, remember how I told y’all that Jessa’s orange fur was turning white, hence the vet thinking she’s actually older than we thought? Well, her once-orange little face mask around her eyes is now almost completely white. And, where we once got regular, “oh! Is that a puppy!?!?” questions from people on the street, now we get “oh, this must be an old Beagle!” Like, a lot.

We’re trying to keep our girl young at heart…but all these idiots keep talking about how old she is! Poor little gal. She’ll always be a pup to me.

Kind of related: I took Jess for a very long walk on Saturday, because it was so beautiful. She accompanied me to the hardware store (which is next to a Petco, so they let people bring their dogs in…nice!) and up and down a block where, much to her delight, someone had spilled a whole bunch of popcorn. There was a lot of dragging and plenty of “No!”s on that stretch.

Anyway, we came across a couple with their young toddler in a stroller. They were older parents, looked to be in their early 40s, and I shit you not, it was like an SNL parody. The dude sounded like Will Farrell and the woman like Ana Gasteyer or something…talking in high baby voices, very very slowly…like, “[kid’s name] DO - YOU - WANT - TO - PET - THE - DOG - GY? DO - YOU? SEE? NICE - DOG - GY!! NIIIIIICE!!” They actually never really acknowledged me or spoke to me in any way…it was all about the kid and all in this overly careful, overly dramatized manner. It was actually half SNL and half Parker Posey and Michael Hitchcock’s weimereiner-owning, J.Crew-sporting couple in Best in Show. I just kind of stood there, like, is this actually happening?

As I walked away, I thought, pleeeease don’t let me ever parent like that. Kids are people, too. Jeeez!

Me and Jess sharing a moment on our morning family coffee walk.

Me and Jess sharing a moment on our morning family coffee walk.

Do you think she knows how cute she is? I mean, she must.

Do you think she knows how cute she is? I mean, she must.

I know, I’m ob”jess”ed lately.
But, I mean, can you blame me??
Also…Ani Difranco taught Jessa that she doesn’t have to be ladylike. FUCK YEAH!

I know, I’m ob”jess”ed lately.

But, I mean, can you blame me??

Also…Ani Difranco taught Jessa that she doesn’t have to be ladylike. FUCK YEAH!

Short-lived…

Well, sometime after I posted my last post and Jonny and I turned off the lights and settled into sleep, Jessa decided that we were crowding her and she needed her own space. She jumped off our bed and walked over to hers.

Well lah-dee-dah. Gooood for yoooooou.

We don’t normally let Jessa sleep on the bed, but she jumped up here randomly and it was so cute we felt bad kicking her off. And then, of course, she got comfortable. So now she’s asleep on my feet. 

This is how it starts. Jessa hair everywhere. 

Sigh. Oh well. At least she’s cute. And she’s keeping my feet warm.

We don’t normally let Jessa sleep on the bed, but she jumped up here randomly and it was so cute we felt bad kicking her off. And then, of course, she got comfortable. So now she’s asleep on my feet.

This is how it starts. Jessa hair everywhere.

Sigh. Oh well. At least she’s cute. And she’s keeping my feet warm.

Oh hey, what’s up everyone? Just chillin’ at the headquarters of cuteness. Just an average day over here.

Oh hey, what’s up everyone? Just chillin’ at the headquarters of cuteness. Just an average day over here.

Can’t be negative about these two, though. Look at them!!!

Can’t be negative about these two, though. Look at them!!!

Overreacting since 1978.

abinthesaddle@gmail.com

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