Bachelor…oooooooh dear….(contains spoilers)
Sadly, the SaddleFamily is out of the draft! Jonny’s remaining player, sweet little Jackie, was sent packing from Costa Rica. It was inevitable, as we suspect that she was a member of our tribe, if you catch my drift, and, no offense to Brad, but I don’t know if he could hang with East Coast Jews. I mean…I think meeting the family might have blown his mind. But never fear, little Jackie, I’m sure many Jewish mothers and Bubbies and the like are now scrambling to set you up with their nice sons/grandsons/nephews/sons of their kids’ orthodontist. You’ll be just fine.
Anyway, that means no more points for us. But at least Jonny and I are consistent in picking bad partners for Brad. Guess that puts a damper on the matchmaking business we were going to start. Oh well, Jonny. Back to our normal jobs we go.
All in all, though, this freaking episode was like nails on a chalkboard to me. The cliches, the cattiness, how absolutely dumb Brad is, and most of all…how insanely produced it is. I do not believe the other girls didn’t notice that Michelle was missing from the house when she went over to Brad’s. I also do not believe that her entrance to the conversation about said event (the “hey friends!” weirdness) was not completely cued by the producers (Okay…Michelle…we’ve goaded them into talking about you, nooooooow…go! GO!). There’s a part of me that even believes when the cameras aren’t rolling that Michelle is actually quite normal and great friends with all of them. Then she says, “okay girls, time to be the villain now. Nothing personal. Just bad tv.”
And Chantal O.? Really? My eyes nearly rolled out of my head when she came out in the white dress shirt. The only movie/tv part where that’s refreshing is in The American President, and I think it’s just because Annette Bening is so funny when she tests out the firmness of the bed. Oh Chantal. Or maybe I should say, O. Chantal.
Other noteworthy observations, why do they spend so little time talking? It’s not even like they’re making out all that much anyway. The kisses all seem kind of forced and tight-lipped, no? So if they’re not making out or making conversation, then…..what? Also, not only was Michelle horrible this episode, she looked like a freaking leather handbag that’s been tossed around quite a bit. Gross. I take back saying she’s attractive. She’s nasty. Speaking of appearances, did anyone else notice the tell-tale “I went tanning” white circles around Brad’s eyes? Hahahahahaha.
One funny moment I liked was at the end when they showed them all hanging out and gave that grasshopper some serious air time (I mean, the girls really must be that boring) was when it finally did come down on one of the girls and they all started freaking out…one of them, like, smacked into Britt’s bony little shoulder/arm and the look on her face was so “bitch, calm the eff DOWN!” it was hilarious to me. I think, were I to be in the same room as these weirdos, I’d probably gravitate towards Britt, as she seems the most chill. Then I’d make her eat something, cuz seriously.
But forrealz…my sister KILLING it in the points area. I am just glad that even though I won’t be scoring anymore points, I won’t be in dead last place. but that’s just cuz I’m selfish. Sorry Jonny. Ha.